OMG, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. LOL!
on 2016-09-24 09:10:55
OMG, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. LOL!
on 2016-09-24 06:02:50
OMG, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. LOL!
on 2016-09-24 02:41:21
OMG, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. LOL!
on 2016-09-24 00:53:39
OMG, after 3 weeks of my new job, I'm already having work-related dreams. I'm having troubles differentiating between the 8 hour shifts in real life and the 8 hour shifts in my dream. I'm doubly exhausted. LOL!
do you want a bag
on 2016-09-24 00:48:01
OMG, I bought a friendship bracelet. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that I don't actually have a friend to give the other half to, or that I'm actually wearing one of them so it looks like I have friends. LOL!
very very lonely
on 2016-09-24 00:18:24
OMG, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." LOL!
on 2016-09-23 02:33:55
OMG, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. LOL!
on 2016-09-23 02:19:55
OMG, I started a new job as a school bus driver. I was sent on the hardest route in the area, and not 5 minutes in I came across a broke down truck in the middle of the road. I was stuck behind him for over an hour with a bus full of elementary school kids. LOL!
on 2016-09-23 00:51:35
OMG, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. LOL!
on 2016-09-22 23:31:46
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
- v0.beta - based on parsed data from