OMG, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 19:42:12
OMG, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 18:48:05
OMG, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 17:43:58
OMG, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 12:40:24
OMG, after being on my feet all day at work, I had to stand for a whole hour on the train because the one free seat left was occupied by a guy using it as a recliner. When I asked him to move, he replied, "No way, lady. I need room for my junk." LOL!
on 2013-05-24 12:15:51
OMG, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 12:08:26
OMG, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 10:00:17
OMG, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 08:26:09
OMG, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 03:42:53
OMG, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. LOL!
on 2013-05-24 03:18:48
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
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