OMG, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 17:24:29
OMG, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." LOL!
Not so much of a teachers pet
on 2014-10-22 16:55:01
OMG, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 16:24:37
OMG, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 13:37:00
OMG, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 12:09:58
OMG, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" LOL!
on 2014-10-22 11:06:59
OMG, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 10:47:06
OMG, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 04:09:26
OMG, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. LOL!
on 2014-10-22 01:42:16
OMG, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. LOL!
on 2014-10-21 23:36:09
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
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